In a Moment

Several years ago I had my office window shot out.

Well, it wasn’t completely shattered, but a bullet came through the glass, ripped through the wooden bookshelf, traveled through several books and then stopped in a copy of Chuck Swindoll’s Killing Giants.

I kept the bullet in my desk for years, much the same way I think the Puritan preacher Richard Baxter kept a skull on his desk while pastoring during the plague in London. Both are reminders of human mortality.

It happened on a New Year’s Eve and I fortunately wasn’t there when it happened, so I am pretty sure it wasn’t intended for me. (I joked with friends afterwards that I quickly checked my grade book though, to see who might have wanted to take a shot at me!). It was, no doubt, a stray random shot from party-goers at midnight. In Times Square they drop the ball, other places ring church bells. In the city, shooting in the air is the noisemaker of choice. Someone just happened to shoot several of my books as they celebrated.

I was reminded of this event, and how quickly death can surprise us, just two weeks ago. Several of us had flown from Denver into Chicago to attend my daughter’s graduation. It was a fun, giddy time of celebration for us all at the hotel waiting for my son and ten-year-old granddaughter to finally arrive, when a cell phone rang and it was his caller ID.

Just 30 minutes from the hotel, a truck had hit them on the interstate. In an instant his car was totaled, and both the life of my son and granddaughter were nearly snuffed out. They walked away from it uninjured, but for all of us it was another reminder, another bullet through the bookcase, that life is fragile, unpredictable, and we can step out of it at any moment.

I think about that a lot as I get older. It’s not so much out of concern for myself. Really. I have walked with God for a lot of years. Whenever my time comes I am prepared.

I do grieve, and often weep, for many in my relational world who live as if they could never be surprised and face death in an instant. Family, extended family, so many former students whom I love deeply seemingly give no thought to their impending appointment, one that may be much closer than they would ever expect. There are no skulls on their desks to remind them, no bullets in the drawer to prompt them.

They are happy, and content.

A Long Goodbye

Inge’s mom lived with us the last six years of her life. There came a point in her 80’s when she could no longer care for herself. It was a long time coming, but when the time came we knew.

We had a house full of teenagers at that point, and so we weighed the prospect of the entire family tag-teaming total, around the clock, comprehensive care for her. In the end, however, it was a given. Of course she would come live with us.

We had no idea what that would mean. It would be a very long goodbye.

No matter. Those were deeply meaningful and significant years for all of us as a family. The memories of those years live on still; imprinted in our minds, surfacing in conversations around Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner tables, in stories prompted by a picture of her in the hallway, or the faint reflection of her now in the smile of a great-grandchild. Far from being a burden, those years were precious gifts of grace given to each of us by God along the way.

Some of the most precious and intimate memories I have are of the times I watched my girls curled up in bed beside her, close, holding hands, rubbing her shoulders, warming her arms. It would be girl time, these granddaughters with their ‘Oma’. With faces close they would laugh, whisper, stroke or brush her hair, poke fun at the cat. She couldn’t respond, of course, she would only stare. In her eyes, though, her only connection to the outside world, you could see she felt their love. In guiding a straw to her lips, or gently and patiently spoon-feeding her, or adjusting blankets and pillows for this precious one too weak to do it herself, they found the deepest joy and love for serving. And they gave a deep joy and love to one too frail to acknowledge it.

Two of those daughters are now nurses, and the other a mother of four instilling those same values in her little ones. Both nurses trace their career choices and the deep satisfaction they have in that calling to those years when, as teenagers, they learned to care with such tenderness and kindness for their Oma.

And we thought at first maybe it wouldn’t be a good idea.

Oh No. “Turn Around and Greet Your Neighbor!”

Depending on what church tradition you come from, it takes on various forms.  In mainline, liturgical churches it is often called “Passing the peace.”

On cue, people will turn to those around them, smile, shake hands and say “Peace be unto you.” The other person will respond “And unto you!” It is friendly yet polite, safe, and distant.  It lasts a minute at the most.

It’s a bit different in free-church and non-denominational contexts.  Some love this time, others loathe it.  “OK everyone, turn around and greet your neighbor!” is the worship leader’s enthusiastic cue for all of the extroverts to shake hands with everyone within reach, and for all of the introverts to head to the restroom or answer an important text.

At Providence we desire a deeper focus.  At Fellowship Time, we take 5-7 minutes for everyone to wander around the auditorium, hug or shake hands with friends, pat young kid’s heads, high-five teenagers. Folks check in with acquaintances and good friends, meet visitors, and wave across the auditorium at those they can’t reach.

Why We Do This   

We do this weekly because we want to spotlight and champion the value of relationship and community.  The Body of Christ is more than a collection of random, private individuals who happen to be in an auditorium all at the same time.  Scripture makes clear that as the Body of Christ, we are all collectively interrelated and interdependent.

If that is true, how do we celebrate and foster closer family relationships?  One way is to take time when we get together to recognize each other, connect with each other, talk, share, and relate to each other with appropriate physical contact.  These few minutes of interaction are the tip of the iceberg that reflects deeply meaningful human family relationships.

Created in His Image    

The desire to connect meaningfully with other human beings is deeply rooted in the nature of the Trinity.   God exists in relationship as Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  As the Trinity they relate closely, interact perfectly and support each other totally.  If we are made in his image, we are created to thrive similarly in relationship.  Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, it is imprinted in our DNA.

What to Do During Fellowship Time    

Lean in:

If you are an extrovert you don’t need exhortation to participate, just take the lead!  Model what it looks like to the congregation.  For those more introverted, remember that it is a skill set that can be learned.  Even if it’s awkward, keep at it until it isn’t.  To be welcoming and engaging is part of kingdom work.

Look out:  

Make a point to actually connect with people, don’t just make eye contact and shake hands with the two people closest to you.  Greet your friends, of course, but as you circulate look around to see who looks new, nervous, or perhaps uncomfortable.  Make a point to personally put them at ease.  Introduce yourself.  Practice making small talk until you are confident, warm and encouraging.  Are they from this neighborhood, have they been here before, how long have they lived here? Respond by telling them something about you.  Don’t forget teenagers; sometimes they are invisible to adults.  If it’s a family, be sure to talk to the younger kids too.  What school and grade are they in, do they know some other kids here? Mention that children’s church is available and age ranges.

Look up: 

You know this time is coming during the service, so ask God to guide you specifically to someone with whom he wants you to speak and connect during this time.  Whether friends, acquaintances or first-time visitors, no one is there by accident.  God will have sovereignly orchestrated bringing every person into that auditorium on Sunday morning with a purpose, one of which is for them to connect with his people.

Be that person.

 

Speak, Lord

“God speaks to me in my garden,” Inge says.

She really is only happy when she is digging in the dirt.

I reflect on that simple statement later. There was a time when the circles in which we moved would be highly skeptical, even critical, of such language. Me too, no doubt, seminary student that I was.

“Too subjective!” they would have claimed.
“Too easy to be misled!” they would have insisted.
“Only the Bible is authoritative communication from God!” said the scholars.

Keep living, and we discover that maybe the spiritual life is not nearly as rigidly defined as we thought.

How strange it would be, after all, to have a deep, intimate relationship with someone but never have any real, personal communication or interaction with them.

You don’t get that sense from the Bible. There on every page are stories of people actually talking with God about personal stuff and God actually responding to them. 

Speak, Lord.  Your servant is listening.

 

Monastery

I miss the monastery.

My first exposure to the hospitality of Benedictine monks was through reading A Cloister Walk years ago by Kathleen Norris. I googled ‘monastery’ and found that Thomas Merton’s home, The Abbey at Gethsemani, was in Kentucky and only a couple of hours from me. It was July in Kentucky, though, and the guestrooms weren’t air conditioned. I’m spiritual, but not that spiritual.

I found St Meinrad in Indiana, another Benedictine monastery, and about the same distance away. I called. I went. I loved it.

Five times a day in the cool of the Arch Abbey, (the cathedral), it was so normal and yet so wonderfully meaningful to just sit and listen to the monks gather to read the Psalms and sing (chant). Low-key. No fanfare. No pressure. Nothing radical. No “catholic indoctrination.” Nothing that non-Catholics expect and fear. Just reading the Bible. And singing the Psalms.

We also ate, together but separate. Simple fare. Healthy stuff. A respect for silence at the tables. Mostly there was enough room to sit at a table by yourself, but even if someone sat at your table, there was no small talk about where we are from, why we are there, tell me about your family. A respectful distance. Polite silence. An awareness that people are there to meet with God, not everyone else.

Sacred space. Bells. Early morning fog. Noon sunshine. End of workday. Dusk and evening prayer. Compline. Walking the grounds.

The Great Silence of the night. “The Lord grant us a quiet night and a perfect end.”

My daughter called yesterday. 

“I want to go to the monastery for a couple of days. How do I do that?“

 

A Stray

(Remix from earlier)

We adopted a rescue dog this afternoon. Annabelle, a Maltese mix. 


My street cred is shot, of course. Any self- respecting Rottweiler or Pit would eat this thing as a snack. Eight pounds and a sweater. I’m so embarrassed. The things we do for love. 


Inge and my daughter Natalie wanted to go to the shelter this afternoon and “just look.” Ha! Really? Two rescuers should walk through those kennels and not rescue something? Not a chance. I knew before we ever got there that, theologically speaking, we were positionally as sure of being dog owners as if we were already at home with it sleeping between us. Which is no doubt where she will end up. 


Little Annabelle already is making the wheels turn in my head. 


When we saw her in that place she had no hope. In fact, if no one adopted her she would have been destroyed. Running away from the care of her owner ran her right into the worst possible situation. The first flush of freedom as she bolted must have faded quickly as she found herself on her own; shivering in the snow, ripping open garbage bags for food, lonely and terrified. Everything is a threat ‘out there’ when you are eight pounds. And now, here she was, caged, with the clock ticking towards her end.


We chose her and took her home, and paid to do it. Love her already! We delight in her, enjoy her, revel in the richness already that she adds to our lives! 


We didn’t do it though because she was worth it, because she’s not exactly a fine specimen. Matted, still grubby, needs medical care. Wheezes. Limps on a back leg. She’s not a hunting dog that has something to offer us. Not a show dog that can earn her way. She doesn’t even do tricks. We adopted her, love her, took her home and into our lives because we wanted her there. She is worth loving. That’s all. She doesn’t understand it, and no doubt couldn’t explain it. But she doesn’t need to. She’s with us. 


I stare at her now at home; warm, fed, loved, cared for, light years from where she was out there on her own. And I realize I am looking at myself, my life. 


I was a stray. Bolted to freedom and misery. I am home now though, because God went and brought me home. I can’t explain that either, but I don’t have to. I’m with him.

 

Are you tipping, or am I?

I went to dinner last night with a guy who looks like he belongs on the wall of the post office as one of America’s Most Wanted.

It always happens. People stare. They get nervous. People coming in our direction often detour around the table so they don’t have to walk too close to him. Tall, black T-shirt, black pants, solidly covered with tattoos on his arms, head, face and neck, he looks at first glance like he was just released on parole from the penitentiary. Intimidating. Probably a drug dealer. 9 mm somewhere.

Fact? He’s the nicest guy. Takes his hat off at the table. Kind, hilariously funny, mannerly, (“Could I please have the chicken parmesan?”), he helped to dispense crayons, paper and otherwise manage 3 small, bouncy kids around the table. He is a tattoo artist, has worked at the same place for years. He goes in at 10 a.m, picks his daughter up from school at 3:00 p.m., goes back to work and tries to be home by 6:00 p.m. Not exactly the life of a gangster.

When the $49 check came I gave my card to the waitress. “I’ll get the tip,” he said as she went to ring it up.

She returned with that little plastic tray, wished us a good evening and left. He fumbled in his wallet and took out a crisp $50 bill and threw it on the tray. He didn’t even blink.

“Dude,” I said. “Fifty bucks for a tip?“

He paused and looked at me blankly. “Are you tipping or am I?” he said as he gathered up crayons and kids. He knows what it is like to work for tips.

As we herded kids to the front door and across the parking lot to our cars I just kept thinking, as I always do when we are together, how prone we are to judge people without knowing them. How quickly we categorize, label, draw conclusions, condemn, distance ourselves from those we perceive to be “different” from us.

“Get in the car kids,” he said as he opened the door.

He turned and gave me a hug. “See you Dad. Love you.”
Love you son.

 

Light in the Asphalt Jungle

–Vincent Harding–

I had a dream.
And I saw a city,
A city that rose up out of the crust of the earth.
And its streets were paved with asphalt,
And a river of dirty water ran down along its curbs.
It was a city
And its people knew no hope.
They were chased and herded from place to place by the churning jaws of bulldozers.
They were closed up in the anonymous cubicles of great brick prisons called housing projects.
They were forced out of work by the fearsome machines,
And by the sparseness of their learning.
They were torn into many pieces by the hostile angers of racial fears and guilt and prejudice.
Their workers were exploited,
Their children and teenagers had no parks to play in,
No pools to swim in,
No space in crowded rooms to learn in,
No hopes to dream in,
And the people knew no hope.
Their bosses underpaid them,
Their landlords overcharged them.
Their churches deserted them.
And all of life in the city seemed dark and wild, like a jungle,
A jungle lined with asphalt.
And the people sat in darkness.

II.
I had a dream,
And I saw a city,
A city clothed in neon-lighted darkness.
And I heard men talking.
And I looked at them.
Across their chests in large, golden letters – written by their own hands –
Across their chests were written the words:
“I am a Christian.”
And the Christians looked at the city and said:
“How terrible…How terrible…How terrible.”
And the Christians looked at the city and said:
“That is no place to live,
But some of our people have wandered there,
And we must go and rescue them.
And we must go and gather them, like huddled sheep into a fold;
And we will call it a City Church.”
So they built their church.
And the people came,
And they walked past all the weary, broken, exploited, dying men who lined the city’s streets.
Year after year they walked past,
Wearing their signs: “I am a Christian.”
Then one day the people in the church said:
“This neighborhood is too bad for good Christians.
Let us go to the suburbs where God dwells, and build a church there.”
And one by one they walked away, past all the weary, broken, exploited, dying men.
They walked fast.
And did not hear a voice that said:
“…the least of these…the least of these…”
And they walked by, and they went out, and they built a church.
But the church was hollow,
And the people were hollow
And their hearts were hard as the asphalt streets of the jungle.

III.
I had a dream.
And I saw a city,
A city clothed in bright and gaudy darkness,
And I saw more men with signs across their chest.
And they were Christians too.
And I heard them say:
“How terrible…how terrible…how terrible.
The city is filled with sinners:
To save sinners,
To save sinners…
But they are so unlike us,
So bad,
So dark,
So poor,
So strange,
But we are supposed to save them
To save them.”
And one man said:
“Can’t we save them without going where they are?”
And they worked to find a way to save and be safe at the same time.
Meanwhile, I saw them build a church,
And they called it a Mission,
A City Mission:
And all the children came by to see what this was.
And the city missionaries who had been sent to save them gathered them in.
So easy to work with children, they said,
And they are so safe, so safe.
And week after week they saved the children
(Saved them from getting in their parents’ way on Sunday morning),
And in the dream the City Missionaries looked like Pied Pipers, with their long row of children stretched out behind them,
And the parents wondered if Christianity was only for children.
And when the missionaries finally came to see them,
and refused to sit in their broken chair,
and kept looking at the plaster falling,
and used a thousand words that had no meaning,
and talked about rescuing them from hell while they were freezing in the apartment,
and asked them if they were saved,
and walked out into their shiny car, and drove off to their nice, safe neighborhood –
When that happened, the parents knew;
This version of Christianity had no light for their jungle.
Then, soon, the children saw too; it was all a children’s game;
And when they became old enough they got horns of their own,
And blew them high and loud,
And marched off sneering, swearing, into the darkness.

IV.
I had a dream,
And I saw the Christians in the dark city,
And I heard them say:
“We need a revival to save these kinds of people.”
And they rented an auditorium,
And they called in the expert revivalist,
And every night all the Christians came,
and heard all the old, unintelligible, comfortable words,
and sang all the old assuring songs,
and went through all the old motions when the call was made.
Meanwhile, on the outside,
All the other people waited impatiently in the darkness for the Christians to come out, and let the basketball game begin.

V.
I had a dream.
And I saw Christians with guilty consciences,
And I heard them say:
“What shall we do?
What shall we do?
What shall we do?
These people want to come to OUR church,
to OUR church.”
And someone said:
“Let’s build a church for THEM,
For THEM,
They like to be with each other anyway.”
And they started the church,
And the people walked in.
And for a while, as heads were bowed in prayer, they did not know.
But then, the prayers ended,
And the people looked up, and looked around,
And saw that every face was THEIR face,
THEIR face,
And every color was THEIR color,
THEIR color.
And they stood up, and shouted loudly within themselves:
“Let me out of this ghetto, this pious, guilt-built ghetto.”
And they walked out into the darkness.
And the darkness seemed darker than ever before,
And the good Christians looked and said,
“These people just don’t appreciate what WE do for THEM.”

VI.
And just as the night seemed darkest,
I had another dream.
I dreamed I saw young men walking,
Walking into the heart of the city, into the depths of the darkness.
They had no signs, except their lives.
And they walked into the heart of the darkness and said:
“Let us live here, and work for light.”
They said, “Let us live here and help the rootless find a root for their lives.
Let us live here, and help the nameless find their names.”
They said, “Let us live here and walk with the jobless until they find work.
Let us live here, and sit in the landlord’s office until he gives more heat and charges less rent.”
They said, Let us live here, and throw open the doors of this deserted church to all the people of every race and class;
Let us work with them to find the reconciliation God has brought.”
And they said, “Let us walk the asphalt streets with the young people, sharing their lives, learning their language, playing their sidewalk, backyard games, knowing the agonies of their isolation.”
And they said, “Let us live here, and minister to as many men as God gives us grace,
Let us live here,
And die here, with our brothers in the jungle,
Sharing their apartments and their pains.”
And the people saw them,
And someone asked who they were,
A few really knew –
They had no signs –
But someone said he thought they might be Christians,
And this was hard to believe, but the people smiled;
And a little light began to shine in the heart of the asphalt jungle.

VII.
Then in my dream I saw the young men,
And I saw the young men and women
Those who worked in the city called Chicago,
Cleveland,
Washington,
Atlanta,
And they were weary,
And the job was more than they could bear alone,
And I saw them turn, turn and look for help,
And I heard them call:
“Come and help us,
Come and share this joyful agony, joyful agony,
Come as brothers in the task,
Come and live and work with us,
Teachers for the crowded schools,
Doctors for the overflowing clinics,
Social workers for the fragmented families,
Nurses for the bulging wards,
Pastors for the yearning flocks,
Workers for the fighting gangs,
Christians.
Christians who will come and live here,
Here in the heart of the darkness,
Who will live here and love here that a light might shine for all.
Come.”
I heard them call,
And I saw the good Christians across the country,
And their answers tore out my heart.
Some said, “There isn’t enough money there.”
Some said, “It’s too bad there. I couldn’t raise children.”
Some said, “I’m going into foreign missions, where things aren’t quite so dark.”
Some said, “The suburbs are so nice.”
Some said, “But I like it here on the farm.”
Some said,
Some said…
And one by one they turned their backs and began to walk away.
At this moment my dream was shattered by the sound of a great and mighty whisper, almost a pleading sound:
And a voice said:
“Come, help me, for I am hungry in the darkness.”
And a voice said:
“Come, help me, for I am thirsty in the darkness.”
And a voice said:
“Come, help me, for I am a stranger in this asphalt jungle.”
And a voice said, “Come, help me, for I have been stripped naked, naked of all legal rights and protection of the law, simply because I am black in the darkness.”
And a voice said:
“Come, help me, for my heart is sick with hopelessness and fear in the darkness.”
And a voice said:
“Come, live with me in the prison of my segregated community, and we will break down the walls together.”
And the voices were many.
And the voice was one,
And the Christians knew whose voice it was.
And they turned,
And their faces were etched with the agonies of decisions.
And the dream ended.
But the voice remains,
And the voices remain,
And the city still yearns for light.
And the King who lives with the least of his brothers in the asphalt jungle yearns for us.